20 up

No posts in September. Just a short one now, with about 10 minutes to go till I turn 20.

Its kind of scary. These 10 minutes are the less 10 minutes I have as a teenager. Age wise, I'll already be an adult (though I'll have to wait another year before that holds true law wise as well).

Change is difficult, but most of the time, it has been for the better. If I were to divide my teenage years, there would be a few categories. Lower secondary, upper sec, college and university. And if I think about it, each of those has, in some way or another, contributed to making me the person I am today.

I became involved with NUS Stage this semester, and the production I'm doing, (Post-Traffic Barrier) has a number of running themes. Memory, time and journeys. These interrelated elements constitute us, and represent things we can never run away from. Some people believe that we should never look back. What's past is past and there's no use thinking about things that have already happened.

In a sense, they are right. But I see things a bit differently. For me, dwelling on the past is bad, but looking back is a good thing. We remember. The experiences, the people. We reflect. They may seem like little pinpricks of little significance. But, they have all in some way shaped us.

And I look forward too. To new things to see, learn and do. I'm lucky. Our parents always tell us that, and tell us to think of those who have not been granted the fortune that we have, to be able to look at the future with optimism. For this I am thankful.

In Postvorta (the other production) the main character says that in Roman mythology, there was Antevorta, the goddess of the future; and there was Postvorta, goddess of the past. Postvorta drew the short straw, he tells us. For me, each is just as important as the other. We look back, and we look forward. The past makes us who we are, the future gives us the chance to go beyond that.

Birthdays. Temporal markers, but also times of reflection, and expectation.

Starry starry night

It's the end of July. In less than two weeks, semester will officially begin at NUS and with it readings, assignments and everything else that comes with life in university.

But, the end of July also means the end of my second stint with The Star.

I'd previously been there for a short-lived one month period before I left for Australia early last year. I enjoyed myself then, and decided I'd give it another shot over a slightly longer period.

And this time around, I absolutely had a great time again.

Working for a daily isn't easy. The hours are long and unfixed (I've started as early as 5am, ended as late as 11pm, though not in one day thankfully!). There is pressure when you know you need to rush a story in time to make the next day's print. Sometimes you worry if another paper (mainly NST) has "scooped" you for the day. There is frustration when you aren't able to get what you want out of an interviewee. There is disappointment when you don't see your story appear when you thought it would.

But, there is also always satisfaction and pride when your story, which you got yourself and wrote, appears in print.

As a reporter in JB, you have to cover all sorts of events. From fun stuff like dog shows and charity programmes to ministerial visits and state assembly. I've had to go to places which I'd previously never gone, like Pengerang and Mersing. Met politicians from both BN and Pakatan. Talked to bureaucrats, police officers, firemen, lecturers, school principals and normal, everyday people on the street. You get to meet many different people and see many things which you may not otherwise be able to.

But on a personal level, my favourite part of the job are the human interest issues. Yes, the latest political and development news are important, but those are already widely reported. The more interesting stories are the ones concerning ordinary citizens, like why the livelihood of fishermen is slowly dwindling, how a family is in despair because their young son is seriously sick, or how ordinary people feel that they have been given a raw deal by the establishment.  These are things which are usually unseen and unheard, often not in most people's minds.

Yet by bringing up these issues, it gives these people a chance to be heard, to voice out their frustrations and allows the public to see what is happening "on the ground". And I do feel a sense of empowerment, and that this is the best side of the mainstream media - actually getting these stories and these messages across.

It's been a fantastic experience. Nelson, Zaza, Desiree, Farhaan, Lauren, Viga, Abang Rahman and Teo were awesome workmates who really helped me along the way. I've met some great people and had the chance to make new friends in the process.

On the whole, I would say it was definitely a holiday well spent.

Why I support Bersih

Why do I support Bersih?

Because I support free and fair elections. Because I believe in concepts like democracy and freedom. Because I think that there are certain rights that have to be upheld. Free and fair elections are requisites for any country claiming itself to be a democracy. It shouldn't even be an issue. 

The government claims elections in Malaysia are already free and fair. But are they? During elections in Singapore, all parties are allowed to have party political broadcasts. I don't think that is available here. Over the years there have been consistent allegations of "phantom voters" and problems with the electoral roll which have not been satisfactorily put to bed. The mainstream media is still skewered towards the government. Campaign periods are pretty much decided at the whims and fancy off the ruling party. And these are just some of the simple electoral reforms that Bersih were calling for. No one talked about how Pakatan Rakyat won just over 35 percent of the seats in parliament when their vote share was at least 10 percent more than that. 

The government claims that the direction of Bersih had been hijacked by desperate opposition politicians, seeking to consolidate their popularity which had appeared to be on the wane. Perhaps, that may be the case. But is that reason enough not to support the cause? Not to me.

Conversely, to me the government has shown an incredible degree of hypocrisy over the matter. They claim to not be against free and fair elections, yet they haven't shown any indication that they are willing even to consider the eight demands made. 

They also said that they were agreeable to the gathering being held in a stadium. Yet when Bersih yielded to that, their permit application to hold their rally in Stadium Merdeka was rejected. And then the government decided to lockdown KL. Now, one of the government's major reasons for opposing the march in the first place was that it would adversely affect business in the city, and they still blame Bersih's demonstration for that happening. Yet wouldn't their blocking of the major roads in the city center also kill business? They don't seem to be holding their hands up on that.

The government may think that people are still a flock of sheep. But education, increasing affluence, as well as comfort with social media has meant that things are quite different nowadays. It is not that I do not appreciate what I have today. It is not that I am ungrateful. The government are absolutely right when they say we are a lot better off than we were 50 years now. We have come a long way since independence.

But, if we keep comparing ourselves to countries below us, than we are never going to improve, never going to move forward. Are we ungrateful when we want a more advanced handphone or camera? The same applies here. I am thankful for what we have achieved, but should that stop me, or other young Malaysians from wanting even more and even better. Whatever happened to never resting on one's laurels?

I still believe in democracy, because I think that this system gives citizens a stake in how the country is run. Critics will talk about tyranny of the majority, and that democracies eventually become popularity contests. But, no matter how big one's majority, or how popular an individual or party, that popularity will not last forever.

What is more, being a democracy requires much more than just holding elections every five years, contrary to what a former Information Minister might think. Elections need to be held on as level a playing field as possible. The right to free and fair elections, along with freedom of speech, are examples of those rights. Free and fair elections will not solve all the problems the country faces. But what it will do is make leaders accountable to the public. That is at least a start.

That is why I support Bersih. Not because of my position on the political spectrum. Not because I support any one party over the other. Not because I just think its 'cool'. I support Bersih because I believe in democracy.

As we are liberated...

 Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, 
Our presence automatically liberates others.

~~~
Our deepest fear by Marianne Williamson

Round and round and round

Sometimes, I feel my life is awesome. Can't get any better.

But other times, I get tired of it. Bored. And I just want something different to break the routine.

And sometimes, I'm just confused about where everything is going.

Wishlist

I want...

...to watch Liverpool play live (apparently tickets are sold out for the Malaysia match :( )

...to see Coldplay live

...to go places and see the world

...to pass my course well and get a good degree

...a better country

...to be less shy

...to be taller

...to make my folks happy

...to try a Singapore Sling

...to take more pictures

...to listen to more indie music

...to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey (I think I need a films to watch list)

Tiki-taka

I started watching football after the 1998 world cup. In the past 11 years then, I can honestly and safely say that this Barcelona team are the best club side I've watched. They just outclassed Manchester United. And Messi is a genius.